Perspective...

A couple days ago, I had a huge aha moment, and it startles me. Something I have always struggled with is my self-esteem, for lack of better terms. I grew up believing that I was too fat to have anyone truly love me or  be successful in life. Worse than that, I believed that I was a curse to the world around me. Having been a Christian since I was three years old, I would have told anyone else the truth from God's Word -- our Creator does not make mistakes and He made you. "I will praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made" (Ps. 139:14). However, I did not believe this about myself. I chose to believe the lies of Satan for many years. I have been hurt an awful lot over the years by a number of individuals. I am a very sensitive person, and this is both my greatest strength and weakness. It is a weakness, as you can see, because I tend to take things too personally and think about things too much. However, it is also a great strength because I can often sense when someone is hurting long before others, and I often know what to do or say to help. I have a very tender heart toward all creatures.

Anyway, back to my aha moment. I realized that the way I view and value myself will most definitely be reflected in my girls' view of themselves! Yikes! I have such power to shape their little hearts and minds in so many ways. In every thing I do, say, and think, they will be watching me. What greater motivation to work on this issue that has haunted me throughout life. I have been working in that direction for several years now anyway, but I need to be more purposeful in my thought life. I need to focus on Scripture and "choose to listen to the voice of truth" as the Casting Crowns song says. I need a Bible-based understanding of who I am. We all have these insecurities, we all have downfalls and weaknesses. I am choosing to face those and work on them. I am choosing to focus on who I am in Christ! I am not perfect, and I make plenty of mistakes. But those who truly love me will overlook those in the spirit of love covering a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8). I now have in my life exactly who I want to be there and who wants to be there. I do have many strengths and positives to offer this world, beginning with my family! I truly believe that ministry begins with your own family, then expands slowly to your church family and out into the world. But that is another post... I encourage you to also look to the Lord for how you are viewing yourself and your place in this world. <3

Cherish Every Moment

Nine whole days have passed since my sweet baby girls entered this world. I can hardly believe how quickly time is passing already, and I know that it will seem like nothing at all before they are grown and going out on their own to explore the world further. We have such precious little time with them, with this great privilege of parenting them. I am cherishing every little cuddle, cry, funny face, diaper change, picture, every moment and memory. Maybe it is the 7 years of waiting or perhaps it is the hormones, but I must confess I am a little down, knowing that time is passing quickly. But I must choose to focus on the many positives. I have been blessed beyond what I can verbally express with the sweetest, best little girls. I have been entrusted with the great privilege and responsibility of shaping two little lives and hearts. I know I will make many mistakes, but I pray and know that God will fill in those gaps with His amazing grace. 

I am reminded of some verses. Ephesians 5:15-21 "See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, Redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is... Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord. Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God." We must choose to have purpose to each day, to live each moment to the fullest. We know not how many hours or minutes we have left in this world, and we must take advantage of each one. I find this very encouraging! This is not to say that you must fill up your calendar with to do's. On the contrary, busyness is often a hindrance to our walk with the Lord and all that He would have us do. Ministry takes place in so many forms - it starts in the home, with those closest to you, and then expands slowly. It is not necessarily found within church doors, although it can be that as well. I like to say, "Plan ahead, but be flexible." Have purpose and meaning and goals, but also take each moment as it comes. 

Well, as I type this, my girls are both beginning to toot, which is my cue that they will be waking up and wanting food soon. :)